I love black thongs
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
