Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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