Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
His nipple licking is glorious
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