Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
