how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
