I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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