I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
