Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
