i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
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I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize