I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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