i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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