Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
