Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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