I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
