I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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