i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
