people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize