lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
