every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
