Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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