C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
