Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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