i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
