We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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