come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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