Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm too high and old for this...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
