I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
