If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
