your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize