these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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