drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
zippers are such a cool invention
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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