I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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