Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
