I'm going to jail i love you
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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