your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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