why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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