i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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