Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
