I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Sober January is a disaster.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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