They should really pass out barf bags in church
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize