I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
