I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
