Quick, to the slutcave!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
