You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I wish there were birth control emojis
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
