Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
