I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
