Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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