What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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