i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
