I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
