I just cut my nipple shaving
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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