your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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