did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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