What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
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My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.