I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
