$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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