Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
